Private 「Shadow」

[sotoshini]

Comments

[sotoshini]

[ Jumping down once he sees Shadow is settled in. ]

Is it true though? [ This is important to know! ]

[chaoscontrol]

I wouldn't know. I've never drunk this much in my entire life.

[sotoshini]

[ Humming lowly, he considers. ]

You didn't think that a friend would kill a friend?

[chaoscontrol]

I was hoping no one would kill anyone. But for something like that to happen...

[he huffs and takes a swig right from the bottle]

Bonds mean so little.

[sotoshini]

They do. That's how I died the first time and all.

[chaoscontrol]

The first time! [Shadow raises his brows] How many times have you died, exactly?

[sotoshini]

...twice? [ Things he should probably not sound so detached about: this. ]

[chaoscontrol]

... that's not as bad as I was expecting. [siiiiiip] Did that happen at the Foundation? Or do jinrou have a way of coming back from the dead?

[sotoshini]

The first time was when I was human. The second time was right before I joined the Foundation.

I really should be dead. [ Thrown out there like this, it's hard not to hear the self-deprecation. ]

[chaoscontrol]

[Shadow laughs a bit, coldly]

So should I. And yet, here I am.

[sotoshini]

[ ... ]

Death really isn't that easy to find, hmn?

[chaoscontrol]

It seems it's even more fleeting than life sometimes.

[Shadow pauses]

I'm curious about death. What does it feel like?

fingerguns

[sotoshini]

Quiet. [ He almost says peaceful but thinks better of it. ]

No annoying people, no obligations, no judgements.

ur horrible

[chaoscontrol]

Do you feel anything? Or remember anything?

[sotoshini]

No but—it was only a couple of minutes. And then I was "alive" again.

[chaoscontrol]

So it is just... nothingness.

[Shadow takes a drink]

... That doesn't sound so bad.

[sotoshini]

Mmn.

[ ...... ]

I don't want to experience it again.

[chaoscontrol]

... Oh? Nothingness isn't for you, then?

[sotoshini]

I wanted to. But not anymore.

[chaoscontrol]

... What changed?

[sotoshini]

[ A beat. ]

I decided to be myself. [ And then a smile that's a bit lopsided, but it's unmistakably a smile still. ] There has to be another path.

[chaoscontrol]

[It's weird to see a smile on his face, but not unpleasantly so. ]

Well then. That's as good a reason to live as any.

[sotoshini]

Yeah...I think so. [ This is all pretty new to him still. ]

What about you? Do you still enjoy running from death?

[chaoscontrol]

[Shadow chuckles a bit]

I've always been too fast for death to catch up to me. Even though that day... I was ready to die... I'm glad I didn't. I still have work to do.

[sotoshini]

[ A beat. ]

Because of Maria? [ He was listening, that day. ]