[ Smiling thinly, the words flow off his tongue like water. ]
Why does it have to be about what I "deserve"? Don't tell me you're one of those people who thinks everything fits neatly into white and black, right and wrong. [ Shrugging. ] Even if you are, what's moral for me and what's moral for you are two entirely different things, sensei. I'm not human so I don't need to fit into your rules and laws, and I don't want to.
[ His answer is indignant, childish, and final. ]
There isn't a cure. But even if there was, Yuuki-Koide Natsuno died several months ago. Nothing's going to bring him back.
... I'm sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what this is like for you. But you're trying to do something with the time that's been forced on you, and that's not a bad thing.
[He remembers something Ann said to him on their first day. Maybe they need to steer off this topic anyway.]
What do you want me to call you? I don't mind if you call me Erhard.
[ Shaking his head, he backs up into the bookcase with a jolt. He's said too much. He's said way too much and he hates it. There's too much noise going on in his head, but he can probably answer that question at least.
His stock answer is on the tip of his tongue, but instead his answer surprises even himself. ]
[That's an anxiety response. Erhard doesn't like that he's unsettled the young man, but maybe it will break him out of his shell of frosty anger. Still, he doesn't want to push too hard, too far, and leave them both out in rough and unfamiliar territory.]
Okay, Koide. I didn't mean to upset you. If you want me to leave, I will. But thank you for pointing me toward the books I wanted.
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Why does it have to be about what I "deserve"? Don't tell me you're one of those people who thinks everything fits neatly into white and black, right and wrong. [ Shrugging. ] Even if you are, what's moral for me and what's moral for you are two entirely different things, sensei. I'm not human so I don't need to fit into your rules and laws, and I don't want to.
[ His answer is indignant, childish, and final. ]
There isn't a cure. But even if there was, Yuuki-Koide Natsuno died several months ago. Nothing's going to bring him back.
cw: suicide mention
[Natsuno's being petulant and childish, yes, but Erhard is patient. He doesn't get ruffled easily.]
Then who are you? Someone who felt like existing, because you didn't kill yourself instead of joining the Foundation?
cw; suicide
Ah. A few images flash through his mind, but he stuffs them down. ]
...it wasn't for lack of trying, sensei. Even jinrou aren't supposed to be able to survive point blank explosions.
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[He remembers something Ann said to him on their first day. Maybe they need to steer off this topic anyway.]
What do you want me to call you? I don't mind if you call me Erhard.
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His stock answer is on the tip of his tongue, but instead his answer surprises even himself. ]
Koide.
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Okay, Koide. I didn't mean to upset you. If you want me to leave, I will. But thank you for pointing me toward the books I wanted.
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[ Back to that normal tone of his (and address) he can't stay here right now. Maybe they can continue this conversation later.
Goodbyes aren't his thing, so he's going to walk out without another word. ]